The holidays, it seems, are the most perfect times for limiting family patterns to come marching in the door. They seem almost purposefully designed to elicit our deepest insecurities and most disproportionate emotional reactions to things.

Somebody is going to mess up the turkey. Somebody else is going to drink too much and say the wrong thing. Children will scream and cry. Aunt Mary will complain loudly about undisciplined children. Mom will tell us how we got it wrong. And the inevitable green bean casserole is going to sit untouched in the middle of the table, insulting somebody’s valiant culinary efforts.

In my family it was the same thing every year, with people trying to cram too much food into full stomachs, which always led to short tempers and unpleasant blowups after dinner. Then, about five years ago my mother wondered what might happen if we ate Thanksgiving dinner without dessert – which almost caused a riot until she finished her thought, which was that we could keep dessert for later and eat it along with leftovers. 

What a concept! That one new thought led to fewer tummy aches and a lot more pleasantness in the family. And then there was the joy of eating dessert later on when we really were hungry for it! 

One small change, one big dividend.

So, what patterns do you find yourself struggling with over the holidays? Now is a great time to create a new pattern. All it takes is one new thought, one new feeling, and one new action. Good places to look are where you feel the most stressed during the holidays. Ask yourself how it could be and make a suggestion!

And please, drop us a line to let us know what new pattern you started this holiday season. The more you share, the more we all grow! (link to share comments)

Looking for gift ideas?  Give the gift of inspiration and transformation this year.