How to Eliminate Self Doubt: Stepping Beyond the Shadows

Generational patterns can run our lives and old ancestral patterns can keep us stuck in ancient  history, not moving forward. We all have them, the lovely little voices of self doubt and anxiety arising from those ancestral patterns—voices that effectively crush our best ideas and dreams. 

If you stop and pay attention to them, you will likely find that those limiting voices belong to a previous generation. Or they arise out of a prior event in your own life. You made a mistake, or you dropped the ball, or you made a bad choice and the consequences weren’t pretty. If this is the case, the worst has already happened. The event is in the past. You just haven’t brought it to a conclusion or resolved it. The voices of limiting beliefs about money, or how you aren’t loveable, or how you aren’t good enough, etcetera, keep the issue alive. It’s like the event keeps happening all over again.

How to begin to reach for your dreams

Bert Hellinger, the founder of Systemic Work & Constellations once said, “Happiness takes courage.” And he’s right! It’s so much easier to go along with the way things are than to make changes. It’s so much easier to just believe the voices rather than decide to go beyond them and reach for your dreams. 

Most of us don’t realize that sometimes all it takes to get the ball rolling towards change is a couple of simple questions. Two simple questions breaking generational patterns, taking you out of ancient history and unlocking your unconscious prison, pointing you in the direction of a very different future.

The first question is: “What more is possible here?” Once you’ve answered that question, the second is: “What do I need to change to get to what’s possible?” What do I need to add to my life in order to move towards my dream? Sometimes just asking the questions can help start you moving beyond the shadows towards the purpose waiting for you.

How to eliminate self doubt

Think of a dream that you would love to pursue—a dream plagued by those little thoughts of doubt. Ask yourself “To whom do these doubts belong?” Do they come from your family? Your workplace? Your culture? Your church? Your friends? If you can trace the voices, the words of doubt to others, what does that say?

It says your doubts aren’t really your own. You’ve simply adopted them through exposure and repetition.

If you can’t trace your doubts and negative voices to others in your immediate circle, you may well have old ancestral patterns showing up in you that have been passed down through your family lineage epigenetically. (This is what I call emotional DNA—the thoughts, words, actions, emotions, inactions, and choices of our ancestors that we inherit.)

Sometimes just the recognition that the voices aren’t ours can make all the difference and begin to free us up!

Get clear about where you stand

Sometimes what causes self-doubt is your uncertainty as to where you stand when it comes to your dreams. A simple exercise can show you where you are right now and if old ancestral patterns are standing in your way.

Take two pieces of paper. On the first sheet write down your dream. On the other, write down your doubt(s). Place them at opposite ends of the room. Now, go stand somewhere between the two pieces of paper. Just feel where you want to be. In the middle? Closer to one piece of paper than the other? Notice where you are drawn. 

If you find yourself wanting to stand closer to your doubts, you are likely caught in some sort of systemic trance stemming from your family, career, or cultural system. The voices of doubt that come from that source can sound awfully loud and pull very strongly. 

If you find yourself moving closer to your dream, notice what’s pulling you in that direction. Is there a whispering voice of inspiration in your head? Is your heart pulling you to express yourself? Is your gut telling you to go that way? Wonderful! Listen to them!

If you find yourself stuck midway, ask yourself what is needed to move towards your dream. As you identify an idea or a resource, write it down on a separate piece of paper and place it on the pathway nearer your dream. Keep  asking yourself “What is it I desire to experience?” Then wait for another idea. Write it down and add it to the “dream” side. Keep doing this until you’ve got enough weight—enough incentive—to pull you all the way to your dream.

Now, follow up on your ideas. When you do this once and experience a dream come true despite all those doubts, you will know how to move beyond other doubts and then you are well on your way to living the life that belongs only to you.

To find out more about your emotional DNA and how to make stretching towards your dreams a part of your daily life, join me at one of my live events.