It’s an amazing thing to realize that choices made by those who came before you about the events that happened in their lives, have become the language, feelings, thoughts and actions that often live in you and are expressed by you. For example, Doug was stuck in a dead-end job. He knew he had the talent to be in upper-level management and make his way to the C-Suite. His line manager kept thanking him for the ways he evoked and nurtured talent in others around him, yet never gave Doug the promotion he deserved. He thought about leaving the company many times, but didn’t quite have the courage to do so. Not surprisingly, Doug felt trapped.

When we looked at his family beliefs and history, Doug realized that his father had also been undervalued and unacknowledged in the employment agency where he worked. Perennially overlooked for promotion, his father refused to complain or look for more substantive work, saying he needed to put food on the table, and he wasn’t about to jeopardize the family’s safety by leaving a steady job.

The trend went further back to his grandfather’s work as a perpetual line manager in the auto industry, and possibly back before that. Doug also recognized that employee loyalty and job longevity were highly prized in his father’s and grandfather’s generations. In fact, his father would often tell him, “Stick to one place and don’t make waves, son. Security above all.”