Where Does Courage Come From?
Every single hero and heroine in the history textbooks, novels, TV shows and movies has had to face the hard choices of whether to step up and take a stand for the right thing and the greater good or turn and slink away in quiet defeat. But where does courage come from to step up and commit courageous acts instead of stepping aside?
Interestingly, the origins of the word “courage” come from the Old French word “corage,” which in turn comes from the French word “couer,” meaning heart. Once upon a time, to have courage meant to speak from one’s heart, facing the hard questions that surround every form of every virtue. And don’t you know, speaking from the heart’s wisdom is truly one of the greater challenges in the world today because society is so dedicated to the mind and intellectual pursuits! And yet, so often we find, after the dust settles, that the heart’s truth is more aligned with the right thing than the head!
Meeting Fears Head-On
In alignment with heart values, courage often rises in a person who has a deep passion or concern for another person, situation or an ideal. When love, values, and personal interests are the driving force, passion shows up. And when passion arrives, even the most intense fear can be overcome, galvanizing the most unlikely people to perform heroic acts.
For example, the vital importance of civil rights drove Rosa Parks to have the courage to resist bus segregation in Montgomery, Alabama in 1955. Mahatma Ghandi was driven by the ideal of a liberated India to face down the entire British Empire in any number of dangerous situations. The first Suffragettes in the US faced terrible abuse at the hands of the police when they marched for women’s rights and the right to vote in the early 1900s
Courage in Daily Life
But it’s not just big things like civil rights and a nation’s freedom that inspire courage. Courage often shows up in the face of disease, injury, and apparent defeat. It is sometimes the difference between embracing life and succumbing to death. Sometimes it’s everyday situations that inspire people to act in spite of fear. Whether it’s speaking up for someone else at work despite feelings of anxiety, or stepping into a controversy where everyone’s emotional response to a situation is running hot—even such a simple act takes guts because it lies outside our everyday comfort zone.
But don’t you know, these kinds of momentary hard choices also come with great rewards. There is nothing so satisfying as that exhale of relief after taking that first step standing up for someone or something in any given situation, and you get that quick smile and nod of agreement from someone in the crowd that says “Thanks for standing up and taking a leadership role around this!”
A Matter of Choice
Courage doesn’t mean an absence of fear or anxious feelings. Just the opposite! If something isn’t outside our comfort zone no courage is required. But when your stress levels are up and you feel like you’ll have a heart attack if you do or say XYZ, and then you do or say XYZ anyway—that’s meeting your fears head-on. That’s courage.
Great success often requires great courage because success is never guaranteed in any endeavor. And the lack of a “sure thing” is often what gets in the way of many people even trying to go for their dreams. We get an idea, and then every imagined threat, every possible block, every negative association in the book shows up in our heads. And as our anxiety levels and stress levels rise, the dream looks more and more impossible.
But, here’s the thing: Courage is a choice. The choice to achieve something, say something, or have something despite the perceived threat and obstacles involved. And who is to say what will be successful and what will not?
Some of the biggest success stories of our times started out with what would seem to be fantastical—even ridiculous—dreams. For example, who would imagine a guy who plays with absurd puppets ever getting anywhere? But Jim Henson went on to create the legendary Muppets and an enormous media franchise that included long-term TV shows, movies, music and endless profitable products. And who thought somebody could build an empire just supplying people with a good cup of coffee in the morning? Howard Schultz, the man who led Starbucks into the stratosphere is who!
So, if you wish you had a little piece of that kind of magic (Hint: You actually have it!), please understand it is not that they are magical or special and you are not. It’s simply that they have learned to move forward and master the fear that holds most of us back by taking the steps that most of us don’t. So, what are those steps? I’m so glad you asked!
Steps to Building Courage in Daily Life
Courage is what changes the world, points of view, and limitations. And the world is in plenty need of positive change at the moment. Here are a few things to do and watch out for on your journey to gathering courage:
- Witness the courageous acts of others: An easy place to start building energy of the courageous kind is by watching films that depict courageous acts. From the 1962 classic film To Kill a Mockingbird to the animé hit Princess Mononoke, from One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest to Nyad (the true story of Diana Nyad who swam from Cuba to the Florida Keys at age 64), there are plenty of superb examples of human beings overcoming tremendous odds to perform courageous acts. And the beautiful thing about all these stories is they show moral courage, not just feats of physical courage. So don’t make the mistake of thinking you could never measure up. You can!
- Choose a few things to face that scare you: I’m not talking about standing up to hair-curling monsters like Ellen Ripley in the Alien Maybe you’re afraid of dogs and want to change that. Or maybe roller coasters. Start with small things.
- Form an action action plan to face your challenges: For example, set up safe situations that are out of your comfort zone with people you trust. In the dog example above, find a friend who has a friendly dog around the house. Tell them your intention. They’ll be glad to help with a little exposure therapy. And those roller coasters and other amusement rides? Try going to amusement parks with supportive friends. Tell them what you’re dealing with. If they (or you) have small kids, accompany the youngsters on kiddy rides to start, then work up, one small step at a time.
- Celebrate the wins: Even if you’re shaking in your boots at the thought of climbing a ladder—get a friend to bring over a ladder and spot you in your climb. Even if you only get up two rungs, CONGRATULATE YOURSELF!
- Don’t compare yourself to anyone else: A fear response is a fear response. Whether it relates to a free climb up a 1000′ cliff face or getting up on that step ladder makes zero difference.
- Form more positive associations than negative blocks. Maybe you want that corner office and the title that goes with it at work, but the fear of failure has stopped you in the past. Create a list of your strengths and abilities right down to the smallest asset to help outweigh the greatest fears you have.
When I was a small child, I remember someone saying: “The world owes you nothing. You owe it everything.” And I asked myself what I could bring to the world that was uniquely mine. I realized that I was incredibly optimistic, that I didn’t get tired easily, and that I could figure things out. So those three things became what I would share with the world. If I experience anxious feelings about something I’m facing, I remind myself of my assets. That helps me see solutions not problems.
A few more things to do are:
- Don’t be afraid to enroll family members and friends in your courage-building efforts. I guarantee you’ll be an inspiration to them.
- Commit to your dream/goals and don’t stop.
- Be gentle with yourself. Take things like childhood trauma into consideration. Don’t re-traumatize yourself. Commit to taking a small step every single day towards your goal. You’ll get there!
We are either our own prison keepers or our own liberators. Let me take you on a journey into courage at my special Disney World event: From Fear to Freedom, November 1-4. It will be an adventure! For more information please check click here.
