How to Find the Truth with Meta Patterns
When I grew up back in South Africa, we had a really specific conversational “code.” And that code involved avoiding the topics of sex, religion, and politics. Those subjects were always a no-go zone, because so many people had so many widely varied thoughts about them. Many people held opinions that were well grounded in facts and many held opinions that were mostly based in emotions and judgement. And they all got so mixed up that the best approach eventually became to simply avoid the issues altogether. And if somebody did air their views, I was taught to simply be respectful and not argue or put anybody down for their perspective.
Because when we start discussing ‘hot” topics, arguments are sure to follow. And from there we end up putting down other people’s points of view. We start to shame and blame and we don’t listen. And in the midst of this tumultuous dynamic, we also begin to lose the truth. Because when we argue, my point of view has got to become your point of view, and vice versa. And to accomplish this, I’m going to double down on my point of view, and keep on doubling down, dragging in wild ideas and accusations in order to make my position bigger and more strident, more colorful and thus more popular than yours.
And then truth evaporates as the whole thing becomes a shouting match designed around who can yell the loudest and make the most outrageous statements of “fact.” Which is where we seem to have found ourselves in the world right now around pretty much everything.
A Dangerous Game
In systemic work, we know that certain systems just shouldn’t entangle. And yet today the systems of religion, politics, health, sexuality, immigration, education, and innumerable other hot topics get all mixed up together. We’re getting to a stage where systems are becoming so entangled that we no longer know what belongs where. We’re no longer giving everything and everyone in these varied arenas their rightful place. We’re no longer giving them a voice that can be heard.
I’m talking about this because this is a dangerous game to play with nuclear warheads and gain-of-function bioweapons ready at hand to deploy on the “loser.” I’m also talking about it because I’ve noticed lately how this whole dynamic has led to the place where much of humanity seems unable to discern truth from fiction and outright lies.
We seem to have lost the plot. Which is exactly what we can expect will happen when we’ve put ourselves into a win-lose game instead of a win-win game over various issues. It’s “Ha-ha! I win, you lose!” Never mind the only way I can win in this scenario is by not telling the truth. The lies I spin can be as big as you like, as long as they trump yours.
We haven’t yet learned that, if we wanted to, we could tackle even the thorniest political discussion if we simply gave everything and everyone their proper place in the discussion. And then respected everything and everyone involved by actually listening to what they have to say. But instead, we’re trying to drown out opposite points of view. And it’s actually killing us all because now almost no one can really hear. We’ve gotten into a space where the truth or the not-truth is so inflated that we’re starting to divide into tribes, camps, political groups around the “truth.” Only it’s super not the truth.
The Big Divide
In any big divide, we see opinions being taken as the truth. And when that happens people go blind and deaf. Right now, the whole political arena of America is filled with a few people’s opinions along with a bunch of catchy sound bites and slogans. And people are numbly, blindly, coalescing around those things. We’re not sitting down and being curious and looking deeply into the issues themselves. We’re not aware of the meta patterns of manipulation and how truth can be lost. We’re not seeing the meta patterns of blind conflict that start community arguments, civil unrest, and great big multinational wars.
Look at the Ukraine and Russia. There are two truths standing right there in front of us. But we’re not looking at and listening to the truths of each side. We’re listening to whoever blusters the loudest, shouting “This is the truth,” when it’s only one side’s truth. And then, because history is written by the victors, the one side’s truth that wins becomes the truth in the history books.
What would happen if, instead of repeating the meta pattern of playing lose-lose by not listening and dividing along tribal lines and parties, we started to really look at both sides of important issues in order to be able to negotiate a reality that works to the advantage of both sides and both truths?
Seriously, what really is the truth? What if we redefined it in terms of whatever maximizes humanity’s overall health and wellbeing instead of in terms of who is “right” and who is “wrong?” At the moment, the poor truth is buried so far underground under so many meta patterns and opinion-based shouting matches that it’s going to take a miracle for us to start separating them out.e
Who is going to begin to be the truth teller? Who is going to stand up for humanity’s wellbeing? Who is going to start telling a number of emperors that they really have no clothes on? More importantly, how are we going to land the search for truth in a way that becomes a bigger, more exciting game than the one we’re playing right now? How are we going to make the truth a game worth playing?
We are either our own prison keepers or our own liberators. Let me take you on a journey into courage and truth-telling at my special Disney World event: From Fear to Freedom, November 1-4. It will be an adventure! For more information please check click here.
