Decoding Your Emotional Blueprint – #IATE with Judy Wilkins-Smith

Decoding Your Emotional Blueprint - #IATE with Judy Wilkins-Smith

Judy Wilkins-Smith is a highly regarded organizational, individual, and family patterns expert. A systemic executive coach, trainer, facilitator, thought partner, and leadership conference and motivational speaker, she has 18 years of expertise in assisting high-performance individuals, Fortune 500 executives, and legacy families to end limiting cycles and reframe challenges into lasting breakthroughs and peak performance. She is the author of the book Decoding Your Emotional Blueprint: A Powerful Guide to Transformation Through Disentangling Multigenerational Patterns.

In this inspiring podcast, Sounds True’s founder, Tami Simon, speaks with Judy about the deep work of transforming our ancestral patterns on the path of personal evolution. They discuss Bert Hellinger and the creation of constellations and systems-based work; engaging in a multisensorial experience of your system; reengineering what we’ve inherited as truth; illuminating our “unconscious loyalties”; how we can take a “quantum leap” that serves the entire system; how every system has its clear rules—both spoken and unspoken; Judy’s teaching on “building the weight” and doing the things you never thought possible; a constellation exercise for feeling a greater sense of belonging in our families; epigenetics and the imprinting of generational behavioral patterns; what neuroscience tells us about rewiring our thoughts, feelings, and actions; laying down a triumphant path instead of a traumatic path; decoding our emotional blueprint when we have a health challenge; and more.

Subscribe to Sounds True for more: http://bit.ly/2EAugMf Decoding Your Emotional Blueprint by Judy Wilkins-Smith: Sounds True – https://bit.ly/3OhYLZk

Amazon – https://amzn.to/3J4lxmx Barnes & Noble – https://bit.ly/3B3bgF0 IndieBound (Bookshop) – https://bit.ly/3AXUgA0 Bookshop.org – https://bit.ly/3PIYaRz Sounds True was founded in 1985 by Tami Simon with a clear mission: to disseminate spiritual wisdom. Since starting out as a project with one woman and her tape recorder, we have grown into a multimedia publishing company with more than 80 employees, a library of more than 1500 titles featuring some of the leading teachers and visionaries of our time, and an ever-expanding family of customers from across the world. In more than three decades of growth, change, and evolution, Sounds True has maintained its focus on its overriding purpose, as summed up in our Mission Statement. Connect with us: Facebook: http://bit.ly/2XFIIeE Instagram: http://bit.ly/2UlEoiH Website: http://bit.ly/2tOl02d

The Beauty of Obstacles and How to Turn Them into Strengths

The Beauty of Obstacles and How to Turn Them into Strengths

All too often, we stop short of our goals because of obstacles that often have their origins in prior events or previous generations. And yet obstacles are actually clues to the future we want and desire. They are actually pivot points to our strengths, rooted in our family system’s desire for change and evolution.

An obstacle is an invitation to refocus and stop seeing an obstacle—to look with curiosity and see it as an opportunity to turn sickness into health, poverty into abundance, and limitations into liberation.

For example, nobody in Paul’s family has a degree. The family ethic is all about hard work. He is really good at sketching and wants to be an architect, but his unconscious loyalty to the family’s work pattern makes him hesitant to venture into an arena he knows nothing about. This becomes an obstacle.

Now, obstacles are often solutions that have outlived their usefulness. Paul’s family emigrated from Puerto Rico. No one in the family spoke English. Blue collar jobs were the only option and that kind of work kept the family afloat. Then “blue collar” became a fixed pattern that couldn’t allow growth. 

It is when Paul focused on his passion and deep desire to create beautiful buildings, that he could see a different path forward. His desire outweighed the old pattern. 

When he is able to look at his heritage and can see the steps that led to who he is, he finds himself filled with gratitude and acknowledgement. Understanding that his desire to add to the family system is rooted in gratitude enables him to focus on and fulfill his own dream. Thus, he turns the obstacle into a strength. 

Once we understand what an obstacle is trying to show us, we very quickly realize that it is trying to grow the system through us and then we can shift the pattern.

While the system’s most important goal is to survive, its highest ideal is to thrive. We don’t want to stall out at the point of our parent’s success. We want to soar beyond it, growing the system and expanding its opportunities. Thinking about obstacles as portals to possibility aligns the head, heart and gut in a whole new way. When these three are aligned, there is no confusion, and everything is focused and invested in a single direction. 

The First Step to Leveling-Up: Being Willing to Look

The First Step To Leveling-Up: Being Willing to Look

Some areas in our lives are a little more sensitive than others and we tread carefully. Then, there are the places we just don’t go. Maybe the subject matter is frowned upon. Maybe it’s considered too much, too tender, too taboo—for example sex, politics, abortion, or vaccines. But sometimes we don’t address issues because we fail to even see them as issues. It’s just “the way it is.” We make assumptions and then we make those assumptions the “truth” and wonder why we can’t move forward in life

The opposite of making assumptions is being willing to look. When we start to explore our assumptions with curiosity, quite often they fall apart. Nobody could run a four-minute mile until 1954, when Roger Bannister broke it at age 25. As of this date, over 1600 athletes have broken the “impossible speed barrier,” and the four-minute mile is now a standard for professional middle-distance runners.

Being willing to look is the fountain of growth.  When we can explore the areas where we are stuck and be willing to see what else is possible, we unlock a whole new range of options. 

To this day, in some families only men are allowed to go into business because they supposedly are the only ones who have business minds and women do not—until a female family member comes along who is willing to look at the assumption and kick it to the curb because she wants to go into business and won’t let anything stop her—especially traditional assumptions!

Take “Becka” for example. She felt stymied in her career life until she realized that the “stuckness” wasn’t hers. Willing to look at what was holding her back, she became aware of the family pattern. She remembered all the times she was told that “Business isn’t for girls!” And she put that pattern in its place and moved beyond it.

Frankly, when it’s time for a pattern to be released and transformed, when it’s time for a family system to evolve a pattern that wants to stop, it’s inevitable that a pattern-breaker like Becka is born. She may be the first one in generations to start a new pattern, simply because she was willing to look. By seeing the patterns and giving the “stuckness” a place in the system, she was free to create something different. 

When you are the one who is willing to look, shift can happen. When we shift from seeing something in a certain way, as “impossible” or as a “chore,” or “forbidden,” we find ourselves pulled past the excuses and reasons to not go there. We engage possibilities and level-up.

This is how you and your systems evolve.

 

Judy Wilkins-Smith decodes emotional DNA

Judy Wilkins-Smith decodes emotional DNA

MOBILE, Ala. (WALA) – Judy Wilkins-Smith, world-renowned Systemic Work and Constellations Expert, Author, and Motivational Speaker, explains how to use systemic Work and Constellations to uncover the multi-generational patterns that instruct our relationships, discern those that are in service of growth and those that are not, and offers guidance for shifting those limiting, inherited patterns to create healthy, dynamic relationships. She is the author of Decoding Your Emotional Blueprint: A Powerful Guide to Transformation Through Disentangling Multigenerational Patterns.

Learn more athttps://judywilkins-smith.com/

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Decoding Your Emotional Blueprint

A Powerful Guide to Transformation Through Disentangling Multigenerational Patterns

Short Synopsis
Decoding Your Emotional Blueprint brings you a wealth of hands-on strategies and practices so you can learn to detect hidden and multigenerational patterns, recognize their purpose, and then transform old cycles to create an extraordinary life.

Full Synopsis
Everyone knows we inherit our physical DNA, but few people realize we also inherit our emotional DNA—an ancestral blueprint of thoughts, feelings, and actions handed down to us through multiple generations of repeated family patterns. In Decoding Your Emotional Blueprint, transformational coach Judy Wilkins-Smith shares the good news that no matter what blueprint you’ve been given, you have the power to change your life.

Wilkins-Smith adeptly guides listeners through both the art and science of creating lasting transformation by working with systemic dynamics and constellations. As she explains, all of the different systems we belong to—our families, organizations, careers, religions, clubs, cultures—subtly determine how we think, feel, choose, and act. When we illuminate our invisible allegiances to these systems, we’re able to make new choices and watch a world of possibilities open before us.

Decoding Your Emotional Blueprint brings you a wealth of hands-on strategies and practices so you can learn to detect hidden and multigenerational patterns, recognize their purpose, and then transform old cycles to create an extraordinary life.

Quantum Leap Your Career by Developing Engaged Relationships

Quantum Leap Your Career by Developing Engaged Relationships

For many of us, more than anything else, our career is about creating and maintaining a source of revenue and security. Over the years, we end up operating in a hierarchical relationship structure where “the boss  knows best,” and we just keep our heads down and do what is expected of us. 

In this scenario, work relationships are largely transactional. I do X amount of work and the company gives me X amount of pay in exchange. I ask my boss(es) for what I need to accomplish my tasks and give them back my completed work. This is a simple and highly functional kind of work relationship that most of us are familiar with. It is also the kind of work relationship that has no real prospects or growth potential to it

However, there is a whole other kind of business relationship that transcends a transactional relationship—a kind of relationship that can propel you forward in your career a kind of relationship that depends upon building your business relationship DNA.

Upwardly mobile employees and visionary leaders engage with other team members. They clearly want to do and become more, and they inspire and ignite that same desire in others. They don’t simply do what they’re told, they come up with ideas to improve goods and services. They are invested in their work, their company and their combined futures. In their desire to do and be more, they unlock discretionary energy, aka passion and enthusiasm, which spills over onto other team members. They invest in knowing their associates, building real relationships, engaging them in ways that are mutually beneficial.

They become stakeholders. As a result, others want to be around them. Inspired team members can’t wait to get to work. They know they’re part of something bigger than themselves and understand they’re contributing to something greater. 

This kind of engaged, motivating, relationship building is available to you as well. But first you have to move beyond thinking of your work as a J.O.B. You have to move beyond thinking of your co-workers and bosses as chess pieces to be navigated and manipulated in transactional ways. You must invest in understanding who they are, what’s important to them, what motivates them, and what their dreams are. In turn, you share who you are and what is important to you.

When you build these kinds of authentic, engaged relationships, everything changes. A more expansive energy field of mutual support and shared accomplishment builds. You naturally move ahead.

The old business saying, “Your network is your net worth,” is highly accurate. If you deliver a high caliber of work while building great quality relationships, you will find yourself coming out way ahead of the pack. Remember, people buy people, not products. 

Rewiring Personal Relationships: From Bad to Good and Good to Great

Rewiring Personal Relationships: From Bad to Good and Good to Great

As you know, your family system is your primary pattern maker and the foundation of all your relationships, good, bad and ugly. Some family patterns are truly delightful. Other family patterns feel entangled and difficult. For example, perhaps you picked up your parents’ ability to set others at their ease as a child. On the other hand, perhaps you picked up their excessive worry about money and penny-pinch every transaction with family and friends, making everyone you come into contact with uncomfortable around finances. 

If you look at the ways you relate to those around you and compare them to the ways that your parents and grandparents relate to those around them, you will begin to recognize familiar patterns. The thing to discern is whether or not the patterns you’re repeating in relationships are healthy and helpful or not. Good relationships enable you to take your place in the world and soar. On the other hand, difficult relationships can drag you down if you don’t stop and take the time to discern the unhealthy patterns in play and consciously work to rewire those patterns from what is to what is possible. 

Mastering relationships opens up the world for you. And one of the keys to mastering relationships is to be curious about how you are showing up in your current relationship dynamics with others. Are you supportive? Fun to be with? Critical? Kind of a drag? Try your best to be impartial and not go into self-judgment as you consider your relationships. Curiosity and willingness to shift your interactions with people, as needed, invites exploration and understanding, which often leads to firmer more lasting relationships both personally and in business.

Think about your most difficult relationship. Do you feel big or small in that relationship? How does this relationship affect your thoughts, feelings, and actions? Do you find yourself thinking unpleasant thoughts about that person? About yourself? Do you feel angry around them? Impatient? Insecure? Do you find yourself crossing to the other side of the street when you see them? (Or wanting to!) 

Stop and consider what family pattern you might be playing out with that person. For example, at one of my events, one of the attendees said she wanted an intimate relationship with a man, but hadn’t been able to establish the kind of relationship she wanted. As I worked with her, it became apparent she had a judgement that “All men are stupid.” Given that assumption, it wasn’t surprising that she was struggling to create a happy relationship! 

I asked where that assumption had come from, and she launched into a story about how her

grandfather had lost his wife’s family fortune. “Grandma always said, ‘Never trust a man with your money child! They just don’t have the smarts to manage things.’ And I believed her.”

Once she realized the judgmental pattern she was reliving and consciously let it go, she suddenly found herself relating differently to men. Much to her surprise and delight, many of them seemed  wonderfully smart and attractive. As soon as she changed her perspective, a whole new world of possibilities opened up.

The same kind of amazing relationship shift can happen for you if you commit to  it!

The Dream Catcher Podcast

Every human is born unique as a snowflake. We inherit physical DNA that gives us our appearance, personalities, and characteristics. But did you know that we also inherit emotional DNA?  

This ancestral blueprint of thoughts and feelings determine how we perceive and act. My guest Judy Wilkins-Smith says that when we understand our emotional blueprint, transformation is always possible. Join me for this empowering discussion with her!

Judy Wilkins-Smith is a highly regarded organizational, individual, and family patterns expert. A systemic executive coach, trainer, facilitator, thought partner, and leadership conference and motivational speaker, she has 18 years of expertise in assisting high-performance individuals, Fortune 500 executives, and legacy families to end limiting cycles and reframe challenges into lasting breakthroughs and peak performance. 

In this interview, Judy shares a variety of strategies and practices to help you decode your emotional blueprints. We’ll talk about detecting hidden and multigenerational patterns, recognizing their purpose and transforming old cycles to create a life of greater meaning and impact.

Interview time stamps:

02:25 ︳Judy explains why people are becoming increasingly curious about their ancestry

06:20 ︳Judy talks about the events in her life that led to the work she does as a systemic coach

08:34 ︳How do we get clues about our life path from other people

09:51 ︳Why systemic work has both a metaphysical and scientific aspect to it

12:07 ︳What is emotional DNA, and how it develops

14:00 ︳Addictions through the lens of systemic work

15:41 ︳The different ways that we can learn about our systemic patterns

17:37 ︳Why some people find it easier to break patterns than others (and what to do about it)

23:35 ︳How our language and our body’s messages can tell us about our emotional DNA

25:00 ︳Meta patterns and why they keep us in a systemic trance

26:20 ︳Why Judy believes that victim mentality is one of the biggest meta patterns in our times and how to shift it

32:06 ︳How to begin shifting patterns that no longer serve us

32:06 ︳Judy explains how the Universe begins to support us when we start taking action

Learn more about Judy Wilkins-Smith and her book “Decoding Your Emotional Blueprint” at her website.

 

LISTEN TO EPISODE

 

Inspired Conversations: Decoding Your Emotional Blueprint

Decoding Your Emotional Blueprint

Aired Tuesday, November 8, 2022 at 11:00 AM PST / 2:00 PM EST

We all have inherited Family Patterns that are not ours and no longer serve us. In today’s conversation with Judy Wilkins-Smith, author of Decoding Your Emotional Blueprint: A Powerful Guide to Transformation Through Disentangling Multigenerational Patterns she’ll share how to identify your pattern, how we can break through them and so much more.

About the Guest:

Judy Wilkins-Smith is a highly regarded organizational, individual, and family patterns expert. A systemic executive coach, trainer, facilitator, thought partner, and leadership conference and motivational speaker, she has 18 years of expertise in assisting high-performance individuals, Fortune 500 executives, and legacy families to end limiting cycles and reframe challenges into lasting breakthroughs and peak performance.

Passionate about visionary leadership and positive, accelerated, global change, Judy uses her ability to understand critical dynamics in personal and organizational systems and the points at which they intersect, to create growth and success. As the Founder of System Dynamics for Individuals and Organizations, she collaborates with individuals and corporate decision-makers to implement innovative, ‘whole system’ design elements, ensuring balance, appetite for excellence, passion, and sustained success.

She is the author of Decoding Your Emotional Blueprint: A Powerful Guide to Transformation Through Disentangling Multigenerational Patterns (Sounds True, June 2022).

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