Emotional DNA is the way we act, react, succeed or fail in response to events, some of which may have occurred in prior generations and their legacy is the way we repeat and react without understanding why. Let’s start with the last part of that question. Understanding your Emotional DNA is important to you because it shows you what lives in your system and what you can do to change it or enhance it. Your system is a treasure chest, filled with clues to what happened, how it was handled and what you need to do to change that… Only when you can see and fully accept what lives there – all of it and accept that it lives there, exactly the way that it does without wishing for it to change, can you do anything with it or about it. It’s your own clay to mould!
The key is that you can change what lives in your system. It’s yours to change and it often shows up in your life as an opportunity to create a new and different outcome. New insights and perspectives lead to new emotions and new thoughts which in turn lead to new language, new choices and new actions that result in new outcomes. You are no longer stuck in the old ways. Instead you are able to mindfully and consciously change those patterns and create a different future.
So, what is Emotional DNA? –
Emotional DNA is the blueprint for the system we and our ancestors have created. This blueprint is a set of patterns and outcomes based on past events and decisions. As our lives unfold, we repeat versions of these patterns that may have been created generations ago—many times in response to an ancestor feeling excluded or shutting down in a situation. Following patterns is often our way of belonging in the system. It is deeply unconscious, yet faithfully and blindly repeated. Until we understand what lives in our systems and what purpose it serves, we are reacting to our lives through old and outdated patterns rather than creating our lives. We are frequently more in reaction than creation until we understand what lives in our systems and what purpose it serves. Until then, we keep repeating versions of patterns that may have been created generations ago in response to something that resulted in an exclusion and a shut down. It is often our way of belonging in the system. It is deeply unconscious, yet faithfully and blindly repeated.
How is Emotional DNA created? When a significant event occurs we make immediate decisions. We tell ourselves things about what has happened. We might say I will never…or I will always… this creates the ‘way’ we now react to situations like these – that is a systemic pattern. The language is highly specific and we call it systemic language e.g. ‘second sons are cursed’, ‘men disappear in this family’ This creates a pattern or the way things are in this system until we choose to do things differently. When we do this mindfully, we break limiting cycles and the language, actions, thoughts and feelings all change to align with the new way of thinking and being
Events create decisions., We support these decisions through action and communication with ourselves and others. And that’s how patterns emerge. that result in language and actions to support these decisions and these become patterns we follow – e.g. For example, “I will never speak my mind again – it’s too dangerous” can become a pattern of withdrawal and a repeated behavior of not sharing thoughts or feelings. On the other hand, positive patterns can emerge from events in our past and our ancestors’ lives. In this case, you may see a pattern like, “In our family we all become successful doctors”. Simply put events and decisions about them create imprints that become blueprints for way systems act and react Emotional DNA is a collection of patterns that have resulted from our ancestors’ and our own decisions.
How can I use Emotional DNA to achieve success, fulfillment and happiness?
Once you learn to see patterns and understand what they mean to your system you can begin to choose what you wish to repeat, grow and do differently in your life. You’ll find that even one simple word or small repetitive action can be an important part of unlocking and rewiring this system.
When you put these concepts into action, you begin to lay down different neural pathways. So you’re changing the way you think. You may even be able to activate or deactivate the physical genes that you carry. We’ve known for a while that our minds can influence our physical health. But we’re beginning to discover that our minds can also change a fate into a destiny. So instead of being a helpless passenger, you can be the driver when it comes to your future. It’s been long known that our minds influence our bodies and now we begin to see that our minds can also change a fate to a destiny.
Healthy Emotional DNA is created mindfully through understanding, acceptance, and acknowledgment of the past. In order for that to happen, we need to know what truly happened belongs in the past, its correct order, and the balance of give and receive along with learning what. Then we can learn to make mindful choices going forward. For the first time, we can consciously create a future that fulfills us and sets us and our children up to make choices that say “yes I can,” rather than “I am stuck.”