Changing Seasons, Changing Patterns

Check out our new event schedule. Emotional DNA is now available online in October. Join our Emotional DNA and Money DNA events as a package.

Changing Seasons, Changing Patterns

One of the hallmarks of systemic work and constellations is changing patterns from ‘what is’ to ‘what’s possible’. In the month of September, we begin to look at change; change of seasons and change of focus. At this point organizations begin to focus on the upcoming year; what needs to change and what needs to stay the same. In our own lives, we are putting away the summer clothes that no longer serve us and looking to what we need to stay a little warmer.

During this time of change, it is a good idea to reflect on current money patterns in our lives to determine ways of reshaping what isn’t working and improving on what is. Change doesn’t have to be hard. In fact, some of the most lasting changes occur when we are in a space that allows for learning, relaxation and fun to drive the lessons home.

Join us in for our Money DNA event in October at Disney World. Learn to transform limiting financial mindsets into empowering money patterns. We look forward to seeing you there!

August 23, 2021August 12, 2021

Moving Beyond Stuck

Moving Beyond “Stuck”

From a systemic point of view, “stuck” is a good place to be. It is an indicator of something that wants to change or become something more, through you. “Stuck” is what we often refer to when we are unconsciously loyal to an old pattern that may be multigenerational. And, often, it is oh so easy to keep repeating because it is in our system. It is part of what we call your Emotional DNA – your patterns of thoughts, feelings, and actions. These are often inherited from a prior generation.

The good news is once you see them and identify them, the exciting piece begins. Now you are looking for the new pattern that is trying to emerge through you. Old patterns are often identifiable in your frustrations or apparent limitations. Whereas new patterns often sit in your desires, wishes and dreams. The trick is to build enough desire for the new want to achieve it. It has got to be so exciting that you cannot wait to attain it, because that will pull you beyond all your excuses and reasons for not moving.

Let’s talk about the ways you keep yourself stuck:

It’s too much work
It’s too hard
That is just the way I am
That’s how it is in my family
I don’t want to be greedy

All fine reasons to keep yourself stuck. But make your “want” strong enough and watch yourself move:

I really need that vacation
I want that new home
I want to feel safe, secure, and loved
I want to understand what it is like to achieve a dream

It all sounds simple, and it is. Here is a quick exercise that will help you get from one to the other:

Write down something that is keeping you stuck
Now, write down what you tell yourself about that
Notice how you feel about that
Write down the actions or inactions that keep you stuck
Write down who (mom, dad, my past) may be keeping you stuck
Now, ask yourself what you really, really want
Test if that “want” is strong enough to move you beyond being “stuck”
What one new thought will keep you moving in the direction of your desire
Write one new feeling will keep you motivated to keep moving
Write one new action will let you know that you are on your way? (Hint: It doesn’t have to be earth shattering. Sometimes, walking around the block is plenty.)

What you are doing when you undertake this seemingly simple journey is you are changing your possibilities, your future, and your life. Not to mention, rewiring your Emotional DNA. You are also activating your “figure it out” gene, which in turn creates the habit of manifesting what you want.

Challenge yourself to do one thing over the next 10 days that will take you beyond what you think your limitations are and watch how “stuck” disappears!

August 15, 2021August 9, 2021

Systemic Coaching for Next Level Performance

Like most of you I have been watching the Olympics for the past couple of weeks. This time with even more interest than usual as I have watched athletes crumble and cite the need to attend to their mental health.

They describe the inner voices that knock them off course. In systemic work and constellations, we notice that these ‘systemic sentences’ may originate in a prior event in their lives or a multigenerational pattern generated by an event and the decisions made about those event. They can cascade through the generations echoing through the current member of a family system and can knock them off course right at the point of success. Let me explain.

Let’s look at the athletes. They speak a lot of the voices of doubt, unworthiness, fear. It shakes them to their core but where did they come from? As a systemic coach we listen carefully to the words a client uses, we ask about feelings and where they are in the body and enquire about limiting or repetitive actions. And then we ask: “Did anything like this ever happen to anyone else in your family?”

Physical DNA isn’t the only thing we inherit. We also inherit patterns of throughs, feelings, and actions. They buzz around in our subconscious just waiting to surface and pounce when we least expect them. They can announce themselves loudly at moments of stress but there’s good news.

These inner sentences when well explored are offering the step beyond the limiting pattern. Well-worked they can be transformed and rewired consciously turning a struggle into a mighty strength.

Limiting inner sentences like: “I’m not worthy/capable/allowed” can be transformed into “I’ve earned this”, “I’m capable”, “This is my gift to the world,” “When I win I pave the way for others”. The first set of words are the old limiting and sometimes multigenerational pattern waiting to be set down. The second set explores the future and the pattern that’s trying to emerge through us when we consciously explore our thoughts and feelings and embody a new mindset in a way that moves us in a deep and elevating way.

Now inner critics can be shaped to become inner champions.

We are all Olympic athletes in a sense. All capable of great things, once we know how to go looking. All shaken by twisties, and inner voices. But on the other side of those inner critics lie the wings that also elevate us.

Here’s to the inner champions in all of us.

August 1, 2021August 9, 2021

Back to School for Everybody – You Included!

Check out our new event schedule. Emotional DNA is now available online in October. Join our Emotional DNA and Money DNA events as a package.

Back to School for Everybody - You Included!

You’re never too old to learn how to succeed. And the area of money is no exception. Just
because you are struggling now, it doesn’t mean that’s the way it has to be. Are you having
difficulties paying bills? Are you unable to go on any vacation, let alone a dream vacation?
Does money feel like an area of failure for you?

What are you telling yourself about money? When did you start telling yourself that? Where
did your thoughts, feelings and actions about money come from? Did your parents think, feel
and act the same way? In other words, is this your money pattern or did it originate
somewhere else?

You sell yourself a point of view about money and if you buy into that, it will become your new
truth. Buyer beware! This is exactly the right time in your life to choose how money will show
up in your world.

At our interactive Money DNA event at Disney World this October, we will show you where
your Money DNA comes from, what your money bandwidth is and how to move beyond its
limitations. In the parks, you will get to see how one man overcame his limiting Money DNA to
create an entire world.

July 29, 2021July 29, 2021

What Emotional DNA will you pass on to future generations?

Epigenetically speaking, the impact of decisions made about events or the events themselves can create an emotional imprint on a family system that lasts beyond the original member impacted. For example, studies show that how people handled the Great Depression echoes in the ways that their children and grandchildren handle adversity. Some descendants tend to overstock their shelves, mimicking the scarcity of resources experienced by their ancestors. Others seek out financial advice to ensure financial security.

Two things are important about Emotional DNA inheritance:

1) Your inheritance colors who you are and how you act or react until you become
aware of it.

2) Once you are aware of your inheritance, you have the ability and choice to change it.

Clear decisions, when reinforced, become ingrained mindsets and patterns that you then pass down to your children and theirs. All too often we create it reactively and unconsciously and use it to limit ourselves and those who come after us. We are seldom taught that we can use our decision-making capabilities to create strengths that we can then mindfully pass down to future generations. The choice lies with you. Are you creating a chain of capability or a weight of suffering? Don’t forget, it is your mindset (thoughts, feelings and actions) that creates your reality. Once you start to exercise that muscle consciously, you are no longer at the mercy of a whimsical universe or family system, but instead a co-creator of an environment where possibility exists. Even under the direct circumstances, a single thought, feeling and action can ignite a life that you never imagined possible.

We see examples of this all the time. People get hit by a dreadful event that points them into a new directions and purpose. If you have been hit by a tragedy in your life, ask yourself one simple question – How can I use this event meaningfully to grow? Successful and happy people don’t come around once in a blue moon. They are not the lucky ones. They are the ones who simply chose something different and invested in it. When you can look at your life as it is and think one new thought, feeling and action, you are on your way
to creating a better life for yourself and for those who come after. What impact are you creating for the generations that come after you?

July 14, 2021July 14, 2021

Ignite Your Patterns of Potential through Changing Your Emotional DNA

Our Inheritance and Our Imbalances

As a yoga practitioner, you know how important it is to discover and correct areas of imbalance and restriction in the body and then develop movement patterns that are fluid, balanced and supportive of both your practice and your movement through life. The same is true about discovering inefficient, unbalanced patterns of thought and emotion that you have inherited from your ancestors and family through your Emotional DNA.

Just like we inherit physical attributes from our forebears—brown or blue eyes, that mesomorph or ectomorph body type—science is now demonstrating that we inherit patterns of thoughts, feelings, and actions. Epigenetics reveals that significant events can affect entire family systems far beyond the originally impacted family members. Intergenerational effects show up as patterns of success and failure in every area of our lives. This includes relationships, leadership roles, business, money, purpose, and emotional well-being. I call this multi-generational inheritance our Emotional DNA.

Understanding our Emotional DNA

While we can’t necessarily change our physical DNA, we can change our Emotional DNA. And the way we do this is by being willing to become aware of the patterns of thoughts, feelings, and actions that no longer serve us—patterns which are often tied to frustrations and places where we are stuck. When we become aware of our limiting patterns and examine our family of origin to understand what those patterns are and how they got there, we can then choose what to keep and what to leave. Then we can mindfully design the life we want.

Take Leslie, for example. She has an extroverted, exuberant personality, but was born into a family of introverts who were constantly telling her to “calm down” and not be so “loud and excitable.” She was frustrated and wanted to shine and express her genuine self, but she also wanted to belong to the family and not be a constant irritant.

When we explored her family’s history, it turns out her Jewish grandmother had been a little girl in Poland during World War II. Her family had hidden for six months in the basement of a house belonging to a non-Jewish family before they could be smuggled out of the country to safety. The life of the entire family had depended on being quiet, and the trauma that had accompanied that experience was stamped onto future generations. Once Leslie understood what had happened, she could be sympathetic to the family pattern. But she also realized that her exuberance was a gift. Our frustrations and anxieties are often prompts by the family system for some pattern to change. If expressed with sensitivity, Leslie realized she had the opportunity to shift the family pattern and lift the pattern of silence for future generations.

Understanding our Inheritance

Or perhaps you’re plagued with money issues? I remember working with Jerry who was at his wit’s end about his finances. He wanted to be financially secure but was too afraid to even look at his money situation, let alone manage it. What he didn’t know was that the financial disasters that had occurred on both sides of his family tree had set patterns into motion that he was expressing. His mother’s parents had lost a lot of money through bad investments and his grandfather on his father’s side had been CEO of a large company who entrusted the financial dealings to an accountant who took all the money and ran. Jerry was born into a family whose money language contained sayings like the following.

We are not good with money.
People always lie, cheat and steal your money.
Spend your dollars before someone else does.
Even if you work hard and make money, you’ll lose it all.
Life is not about the money.

Do any of those thoughts sound familiar? No wonder Jerry was struggling with his finances! Once he was able to see how the inability of his predecessors to look at and interact with money as a friend had shut down the family finances and possibilities, affecting his relationship with money, he realized it wasn’t him. He could see how his appetite for wanting more was valuable and needed. It was telling him what the patterns of limitation were and how to move through them. He would be the one to desire money, welcome it, look at it and be a good steward of it in his family.

Armed with these insights, the old pattern was no longer his inevitable future. He couldn’t wait to go home and start relating to money differently. Within a year, his financial status had improved considerably and his wish list was only growing. How did he do that? By being willing to discover the old pattern and then embrace a new pattern with commitment. One new thought, one new feeling, one new action at a time.

Getting Started

The first step in consciously igniting your patterns of potential and activating the expression of new Emotional DNA is identifying where you feel stuck.

It is in the area of money?
Career? Relationship?
Do you experience an inability to connect?
A sense of not belonging?
Are you always taking care of others?
Do you take on too much responsibility?
Do you get to play and be light-hearted in life?
Or do you always feel burdened?

Determine what the biggest pain point in your life is and then bless it. It’s a messenger telling you it’s time to see the old pattern and move on. Then take the time to sit down and think about your family system in light of this issue. Ask yourself questions, such as the following.

Who else in my family deals with this same issue?
How far back does this pattern go?
What sentences and words do members of my family use that support this limited pattern?

Acknowledge the Patterns

If you’re adopted or have no family history that you’re aware of, don’t worry. The pattern is there in you. It came from someone, sometime, somewhere. Putting a name and a face on it isn’t necessary. How does the pattern show up in you? What negative/positive feelings/emotions do you experience around this issue? What limiting things are you constantly telling yourself about this? Write those words and phrases down. Acknowledge the pattern. Acknowledge the limiting thoughts and sentences that accompany it.

How to Replace Patterns

Now, what new pattern do you want to set in motion to replace the old? A very simple and empowering way to rewire the pattern in your mind is to take those old sentences in your head, write them down so you can see them and reframe them. For example, let’s use a couple of Jerry’s sentences above.

“We are not good with money” becomes “I handle money competently.”
“Life is not about the money” becomes “Money is a valuable asset for me to nurture.”

The next step is to feel that new thought. If your old thought is, “I’m worthless,” then get in touch with the energy of its replacement, which might be something like, “I have lots to offer myself and others.” What does that new thought feel like?

One highly effective process you can use to get in touch with feelings and issues around an old pattern versus new, is write down the old thought on a piece of paper and place it on the floor at one end of a room. Write the new thought on another piece of paper and put it on the floor at the other end of the room. Stand in between the two thoughts. Walk toward the old and see how you feel. Walk toward the new thought and check in with your emotions and body sensations. How does the new thought feel? What ideas pop in your head? What does your body feel like?

Revel in that new energy as often as you can.

Finally, decide upon one action you can take to set that new pattern into motion through shifting the expression of your Emotional DNA. It doesn’t have to be big. Even the tiniest movement in the direction of the new pattern increases its potency and potential. Play with it. Play with the sense of freedom that comes from knowing that most limiting patterns are simply old family dynamics that have outworn their usefulness and welcome. They’re not you and they do not dictate your future.

July 14, 2021July 14, 2021

Show Me the Money

In Episode 2 we’re going to be focusing on a topic which, throughout the ages, has been worshipped, despised, lusted after, rejected, judged, misunderstand and misused. We’re talking, of course, about the single most desired and disdained of all human creations… money. More specifically, your money and your money DNA.

Money is not a commodity. It is a relationship. The strongest of taskmasters, money provides opportunities of every sort, teaching us many ways to grow and many ways to fail to grow. Money stimulates and reveals our deepest fears and provides the means for realizing some of our greatest joys. With our tacit agreement and alignment, both individual and societal, money largely determines where and how we live and interact in our world. And when our relationship with money is healthy, it supports us. When it is not, it seems to undermine our lives with a vengeance.

Judy Wilkins-Smith is an international organizational, individual, and family patterns expert. A systemic coach, trainer, facilitator, and motivational speaker she’s the founder of System Dynamics for Organizations and Individuals, which utilizes constellations to help performance individuals, fortune 500 executives and teams, families, and individuals decode their Emotional and Organizational DNA to break limiting cycles, resolve long standing issues, and transform challenges into lasting breakthroughs.

July 14, 2021July 14, 2021

Apple Podcasts | Judy Wilkins-Smith | How to Stop Doing What you Don’t Want to do Anymore

I don’t know anyone who doesn’t have a bad habit they’d like to get rid of. Maybe it’s getting angry at people they love, or procrastinating instead of taking action, or something like smoking, drinking or eating too much.

There’s one thing we never stop to realize. These bad traits are inherited, just like hair and eye color or facial freckles. It’s called emotional DNA and it’s a powerful an indicator of how we react to events. They can be passed on from generation to generation and one reason why we stay stuck in our lives without understanding why.

When we can definite our emotional DNA we can take steps to change it. This is the focus of our topic on this week’s Dream Power Radio with family patterns expert and facilitator Judy-Wilkins Smith, who explains:

•where emotional DNA comes from

•what things we carry from family member to family member

•the impact of our emotional DNA on society

•how to break the emotional DNA chain

•who else is impacted by their emotional DNA

If you see negative patterns in your life you want to change,

don’t miss this revealing episode of Dream Power Radio.

Judy Wilkins-Smith is a highly regarded international organizational, individual, and family patterns expert, systemic coach, trainer, facilitator, thought partner, leadership conference and motivational speaker and founder of System Dynamics for Individuals &Organizations. She has 20 years of expertise in assisting high performance individuals, Fortune 500 executives and teams and legacy families, to break limiting cycles and transform challenges into lasting breakthroughs and peak performance.

Passionate about visionary leadership, human potential and positive, accelerated, global change, she uses her ability to understand critical dynamics in personal and organizational systems and the points at which they intersect, to create growth and success.

She is recognized as an expert trainer in the Systemic Coaching and Constellations approach which is widely used in top global companies to coach and problem solve innovatively.

She is widely respected for leading fearless transformation by showing how even the biggest train wreck is simply the doorway to the next incredible pathway waiting beyond brick walls.

Website: https://judywilkins-smith.com/

Go to Judy Wilkins-Smith’s website: https://judywilkins-smith and use the code EB100 to get a discount on her Emotional DNA workshop in March

July 13, 2021July 14, 2021

Horizons

July 1, 2021August 9, 2021

Apple Pie & Summer Sky

Check out our new event schedule. Emotional DNA is now available online in October. Join our Emotional DNA and Money DNA events as a package.

Apple Pie & Summer Sky

Money is a great place marker for all sorts of things; love, safety and power to name a few. The way it shows up for you is highly dependent on what you say to yourself about it. Your thoughts, feelings and actions around money are rooted in the thoughts, feelings and actions of your ancestors.

How did your ancestors handle money? What did they say about it? What were the unspoken rules about it? What do you tell yourself about money? Does it grow on trees? Is it only for the chosen few? Does it come and go? Do you have to work hard to earn it? Is there never enough?

We have made these thoughts, feelings and actions our own, but they often don’t belong to us.

Many of these sayings originated with our ancestors and have been passed down through the generations via our Emotional DNA.

At our Money DNA event, we are going to take a deep dive into your Money DNA, at the most magical place on Earth – DISNEY WORLD! If anyone knew how to reshape their Money DNA, it was Walt and it wasn’t always easy for him either. After each day’s coursework, you will take what you’ve learned into the parks. You will see examples of Walt’s Money DNA and ground what you’ve learned in play.

Walt overcame the limiting Money DNA that plagued his family to build one of the most spectacular places on Earth. What will you do when you overcome yours?

Join us at Money DNA Event at Walt Disney in Florida!